My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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