Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
