I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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