we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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