Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
