Can Purell be used as lube?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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