He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
