LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
