so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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