What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
