Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
