I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
