just tell him i said nine months
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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