I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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