I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
