and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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