And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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