I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
