I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
