Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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