oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
