AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
