I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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