$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
