what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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