omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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