i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
