he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
