oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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