Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
