end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
