how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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