All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
