why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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