Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
