HIV tests are more positive than that guy
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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