After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
