Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I know her cup size but not her name....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
