Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
