O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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