I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
