dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my poor anus
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
