oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
