ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
