Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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