I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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