It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
