I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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