they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
