Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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